Complaints

A wise liar once said "those who matter dont mind, and those who mind dont matter." or something like that. Seems true enough, but it isn't true at all. My mother minds that I'm thinking of joining the military, and neither her nor my girlfriend are exactly okay with my desire to ride motorcycles. I'm sure that no one I know wants to see me steal anything, even though I have always wanted to.

I've been told in no uncertain terms that friends are the people that accept you for all you are, and who support you in all you do. Never has this ever happened to me. Following this definition, I have only ever seen true friends in the media, and then only among criminals. Organized crime seems to bring out the best in everyone. Maybe I've always wanted to be a criminal because I've always wanted to be accepted.

There is no being accepted in competition of the mind, only of the body. So why is it that I chose my friends because I thought I could accept what they did, why is it that those who don't matter don't mind, why is that I devote myself to mental competition at school?

Well I oughtn't compete over grades, or anything unless it is good natured. Competition kills happiness, and what else is there to live for? I ought to find some friends that I do not pick for their smarts or how they're like me, but for their acceptance and their differences. I ought to learn how to engage in physical activity, and I ought to learn to fight for the friends that accept me.

Violence always gets bad wrap. Hatred, that can rest firmly on the side of good. I think we're wrong. I think I hate playing rumor and drama, and I hate being happy all the time. It is just too fake for me, frankly. I need anger, and I need sadness, I need to feel everything, not just one thing.