Men and Women

As for the subject of men, in response to Monsieur Kropp, I would like to note that it is in fact scientifically impossible for one sex to be more advanced than another within a species. At least I would think. And also, sophistication, and any other word, means nothing without a real definition. While one definition might be greater contact with emotion, another might be a larger grasp on music, or science, or math. A speculation concerning only love or lust, is a lopsided speculation, although surely those are incredibly interesting topics to discuss with a woman one is obviously interested in. Many people have said that nature is the greatest sophistication that our earth has to offer (some people refer to this as god, and they have the right) so is a man's greater animal quality a negative mark-up on their scale of sophistication or a positive one? The process is complicated, and as sophistication is contrived, neither sex can gain an upper hand in anything, as both have ups and downs. It is, however, quite obvious, that the sexes are not equal. Different, and neither is greater than the other, but not equal.

For instance, the example of pregnancy and child birth. Yes, the man only provides the sperm, and the woman the egg and the birthing. But think on an animal level, in the wilderness or nature or however you term it, and place things far in the past. As with any species, humanity is driven by instinct, or you might say, the collective memory of its ancestors. That sentence is irrelevant, but I like it so I'm leaving it. In prehistoric times and before that, when tribes were the major political modus operandi, and homo sapiens and neanderthals were still dukin it out, males were (and still are) built genetically to be more athletic, stronger, bigger. The point is, the relationship is symbiotic. While pregnant, a woman cannot necessarily defend herself (or run fast) (or control emotions AT ALL, as far as the choir teacher is concerned) so the man would have had to do that. Without someone to gather, pregnancy would not be nearly as successful. Now, this seems irrelevant and women may seem better off, but truly there were and still can be equal roles played by man and woman. The woman was never meant to be the caretaker, as far as I can tell. That was the greed of men. Men were always meant to serve their child-carriers, as it is in nature often. The objective of all life is to procreate, and die. So I would say that motherhood as an example of superiority, is kaput. All things, when made base and returned to nature, are symbiotic and peaceful, or at least as they are meant to be.

I would also like to say that I despise the obsession with sex roles in literature and society. I think that perhaps too much thought is devoted to writing about and complaining about the topic, and too little is being done to make 'equality' happen. If women want to make as much money as men, they should probably be engineers and doctors and lawyers, not stick to the traditional professions of women, like teaching and writing and being stay at home moms. We make society, society does not make us.

The Written Word and Reverence

I have always had a secret reverence for the written word. Ever since I was little I've been reading, or at least, ever since I moved to the podunk town I live in now and came in contact with new, and incredibly disheartening, individuals. At first, as in before I slipped into the Aurora bubble, reading was something I did to try and keep up with my big brother, who has always been a role model for me, as much as I've hated him before. He's probably made me more of who I am today than my mother has, and she would hate to know it. I read the Hobbit, because my brother just had, and I wanted to keep up. Then I launched into the Fellowship of the Ring because my father told me I could not see the movie unless I had read the books first. So I read them. From then on, I was hooked. The swashbuckling adventures, the violence and lore, and of course the forgiving and unremitting acceptance of camaraderie were all appealing to my young mind. Then I let go for a while, but as soon as I moved I was right back into it. Books became an escape, and the camaraderie that had been a pleasant side plot became the focal point of my adventures between the lines. My close connection with the written word has made me reverent for it, so I would argue against ever burning a book or desecrating the pages it lay on. But, this year, when reading a political text, I struggled within myself over destroying myself or the book. In the end I set it down, but it was a good few minutes of blind rage. At that point, I see that hatred overcame love in my being, and this bothers me. It doesn't really say much, but it is interesting to note that reverence is rarely the most powerful emotion a person can feel.

Complaints

A wise liar once said "those who matter dont mind, and those who mind dont matter." or something like that. Seems true enough, but it isn't true at all. My mother minds that I'm thinking of joining the military, and neither her nor my girlfriend are exactly okay with my desire to ride motorcycles. I'm sure that no one I know wants to see me steal anything, even though I have always wanted to.

I've been told in no uncertain terms that friends are the people that accept you for all you are, and who support you in all you do. Never has this ever happened to me. Following this definition, I have only ever seen true friends in the media, and then only among criminals. Organized crime seems to bring out the best in everyone. Maybe I've always wanted to be a criminal because I've always wanted to be accepted.

There is no being accepted in competition of the mind, only of the body. So why is it that I chose my friends because I thought I could accept what they did, why is it that those who don't matter don't mind, why is that I devote myself to mental competition at school?

Well I oughtn't compete over grades, or anything unless it is good natured. Competition kills happiness, and what else is there to live for? I ought to find some friends that I do not pick for their smarts or how they're like me, but for their acceptance and their differences. I ought to learn how to engage in physical activity, and I ought to learn to fight for the friends that accept me.

Violence always gets bad wrap. Hatred, that can rest firmly on the side of good. I think we're wrong. I think I hate playing rumor and drama, and I hate being happy all the time. It is just too fake for me, frankly. I need anger, and I need sadness, I need to feel everything, not just one thing.

Walking Contradiction

I think people deserve to keep what they make, and that our government has overreaching, greedy, and inefficient hands. I also hate when people take more than they deserve, and think that being against public health care is akin to saying you despise saving lives.

I wish people would be open about how they feel, and I think communicating up front and being brutally honest is one of the most enviable qualities. I often expect people to read my eyes and know just what to say, and can never be straight about how I feel.

I like to think of myself as a principled person, and think that only the strongest individuals can view the world in black and white, good and evil. I've always wanted to be a criminal, and I cannot bring myself to condemn thieves or organized crime.

I am not at all comfortable saying that God is real. If anyone ever claims that he is not, or knocks Catholicism, I become extremely defensive.

I tend to feel that true meaning lay in community. I cherish my personal freedoms and do not feel capable of connecting completely with anyone at all.

I do not like sexism, and hate when people behave in sexist ways. My favorite characters in any piece of art are always male, and I cannot imagine myself having kids that are not sons.

I do not think feelings or religion should be worn on the sleeve. I'm proud of my heritage, and I'm writing this journal.

I love nature and lying on the ground. I absolutely despise mud.

I believe adamantly that too strong of belief is a fault.

What Matters

In the past I've said that my ambitions lead me to want to be important or make decisions somehow, but as the three quarters of the first year of IB draw to a close, I've come to understand that that is not what I want. I do not want to destroy my own happiness and sanity in order to attain the heights of wealth and power, I would rather just be content with what I have. This realization has been brought to me by my Taoist pondering and my renewed interest in reading. This renewed interest has taken me back to the days when I could while away entire summers just reading, entire weekends and evenings jaunting through other lands, and making myself happy. I'm reading again, and its making me just as happy as I was then, and as my workload gets in the way of my happiness, I come to understand that wealth and power are not at all important, and that only happiness is important. I owe it to myself to stop my ambitions from taking over my life. I need to understand that the things that matter tend not to have anything to do with material wealth at all, and that no matter how much I own or know, all that really matters is how comfortable I am in my own skin. I still need to be able to take care of myself, and my own. That much college will take care of. A degree is a degree, and I can find work when I need to if I pick a degree that will give me a valuable skill. I find that I have a renewed desire to achieve bodily excellence, because a man is made of his body and his soul, not just one or the other. Balance, I think, is key. And I want to strive for simplicity and happiness now more than ever.

Conservatism vs. Liberalism

Political pondering has always been interesting to me, but the closer I actually get to the issues the more I dislike them. I've been both conservative and liberal in the past, and tend to have tendencies of both, as most people tend to fall in the middle. When we did the test in TOK, that was confirmed when all of us were very near to the center of the chart. It is strange to think that with all of us in such close proximity on the chart, we have such extremely different and vehement views on some subjects. I think the political system causes this, because each and every one of us is influenced by what our parents think, and all humans tend to react violently to conflict. This makes the fight endless. At some point no one is talking about solutions, just arguing over what is right or wrong, an endless debate that no one seems to understand, least of all myself. This is probably caused by an inability of anyone at all to actually talk about what the problem is. If there is no problem, why fix it. Why spend money or time on it. And if there is a problem, why argue about it? Discuss it once, find the best answer, and follow through. I personally believe that there is always one best answer, the most efficient answer for any goal, and if we all have the goal of solving problems, then we all ought to agree. But the political system is not about solving problems or even governing at all, the political system is about gaining and retaining power, and nothing will ever change that. Humanity needs a new route to solving its problems.