First, I want to say that all these journals and thinking are totally useless unless we apply them. And beside that, no one reads this. If they do, they might comment. But I doubt it and I do not care. So I've applied what I said about people to the people around me.
The people to trust are the ones who hate you, they'll do exactly as you expect
Zach Wells, Hannah O'Callighan(or however that is spelled), Docta Dave (Munson), various infidels
The people to fear are the ones who have no doubts, they can't see themselves
John Michael Sudsina, Nick Von Roden, Haley Sender, Zach Wells, Stephanie Ivany, Mr. David Stafford, Extremists: self-proclaimed or not, Docta Dave, Mr. and Mrs. Shydlowski, some religious, some rationalists, Mr. Amey, and of course, last but definitely not least, myself.
The people to need are the ones who owe you nothing, they'll be the most honest
My mother and father, my sister and brother, and none others that I could say for sure
The people to want are the ones you love, for obvious reasons
John Michael Sudsina, Jake Hays, Mother, Dana(sister), Stephen, Father, Miranda Amey
The people to be wary of are the ones who are fragile, you might break them
Hunter Flagg, David Gieseler, Chloe Starrgard, Jake Hays, Miranda Amey
The people who need you are the people you owe nothing, they don't exect you, and that makes all the difference
The people who never know me, and that I never know, and how we know each other
The people who make changes are the ones who don't shout, for they are the ones best heard
Ian Kropp, Brian Katona, Reshma Patel, My father
The people who make you are the people who you make, they see themselves in you, and you see you in them
My Father, My Brother, My Sister, My Mother, Zach Wells, Jake Hays, John Michael Sudsina, Miranda Amey
The people who eat the most have the most to fear, they're contentment won't save them when we're all running from a bear
David Gieseler, Mr. David Stafford, Docta Dave, plenty of fat people
The people who say the least are the ones to listen for, they are the people who hear the most
Miranda Amey, Ian Kropp, Reshma Patel, Brian Katona, and thats all that coming to mind
The happiest people know what they have, not what they want
Ian Kropp, Reshma Patel, my father, my brother, Miranda Amey
The people who know you are the people you treat the worst, they can see your faults
Miranda Amey, first and foremost, followed closely by my mother, sister, brother, and father. Jake Hays, Zach Wells, Ashley Shydlowski, whatever greater power there is
The people who love you are the people who know you, but forgive you
Miranda Amey, mother, sister, brother, and father. Jake Hays. Depressingly small list.
As a final disclaimer. I wrote this late at night, and may not remember anyone. Absense from a list can be as bad as attendance on a list. This is all open to interpretation. Not that anyone will bother.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Aha!
In the movie Avatar theres a whole lot of nature worship going on. Someone said that this is sacreligious (the pope), and I do not understand why. In the beginning of every religion, religion was made for the main purpose of explaining the world around us. So religion is reliant on nature to exist. If nature did not possess the grace, majesty, awe-inspiring beauty, and incredible danger that it did then religion would not exist. As far as I am concerned, nature worship is the opposite of sacreligious, no matter whether you are a shaman or an alien or a christian or a muslim or a jew or a taoist or a hindu or a member of the church of latter day saints. Either it is the work of god's hands, and indeed the only thing that is simply the work of his hands, or it is a manifestation of god. So what is wrong with approaching nature with reverence and love? It gives us life and we rely on it. If anything, those who care for nature are the best among us, for they give back to their true mother.
Just another little tidbit I noticed. Eywah (their godess type deity in Avatar) and Yahweh (the name of god in the Torrah/old testament) share the same sounds. I find this very interesting and telling, and think that what it suggests is pretty true. When we kill the earth, we're killing our life-giver, and to do so is simply wrong. So let's stop.
Just another little tidbit I noticed. Eywah (their godess type deity in Avatar) and Yahweh (the name of god in the Torrah/old testament) share the same sounds. I find this very interesting and telling, and think that what it suggests is pretty true. When we kill the earth, we're killing our life-giver, and to do so is simply wrong. So let's stop.
Birthdays
I do not think birthdays are that important. Which is odd, I think, since people in other families tend to think more of birthdays than my family does. I'm not sure if it's how my parents grew up or what, but to them our birthdays (children) just mean that we get to decide on dinner, and, at least for me, they get to grab something out of their stash and put it in a festive bag. Theres some singing, but never any cake, mostly cause pie is better, and some good-hearted humor. But nothing big. The party is an afterthought, and family never comes to visit. It's like our ages do not matter all that much.
In other families though, its a big deal, even in those families with winter birthdays. They get their special days and sizable enough gifts, if not as much as a christmas, and sometimes family even comes to visit or at least there appears to be a family birthday party. Then they have their party, and it's a big deal and a good time.
Even though I notice these discrepencies in birthday culture, I cannot figure out the motivation behind either mentality and I mostly just posted this journal because my birthdays always suck and it makes me feel unloved. I mean. Soap. Mr. Wilcox, do not get your kids soap. Thats like saying "I don't know you, and this doesn't matter".
I should be grateful for what I have, and I am. But I know my parents can do better. It is not that I'm not concerned for those who have less than I do, it is that I am concerned that my parents do not think enough to give me what they can, and what is well within reason. But enough griping.
In other families though, its a big deal, even in those families with winter birthdays. They get their special days and sizable enough gifts, if not as much as a christmas, and sometimes family even comes to visit or at least there appears to be a family birthday party. Then they have their party, and it's a big deal and a good time.
Even though I notice these discrepencies in birthday culture, I cannot figure out the motivation behind either mentality and I mostly just posted this journal because my birthdays always suck and it makes me feel unloved. I mean. Soap. Mr. Wilcox, do not get your kids soap. Thats like saying "I don't know you, and this doesn't matter".
I should be grateful for what I have, and I am. But I know my parents can do better. It is not that I'm not concerned for those who have less than I do, it is that I am concerned that my parents do not think enough to give me what they can, and what is well within reason. But enough griping.
Honesty is not romantic
Its just not. Girls do not want you to be honest. They just want you to not cheat on them, at least in reference to the word. The movies lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, about priests too, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, and kittens, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, and king arthur, they lie, they lie, they lie they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, and government, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, they lie, and violence and sex and drugs, they lie, they lie they lie, they lieh te, theyli theylie adifthaoija;slkdfjaowijeanciasubgiabsvoansvobavasudvbasiouvbasiubvaisbvaisubvasiudbvaliuvbasubvaisubvasiubvasiubvaiusbvasiubvaiusbdviaus ccanterbury tales!!!!!
They suggest a lot, but they are not the arbiter of truth. He's just a muckraker of the olden olden folks. Its like any time in history. Stuff is complicated and people are not always as they seem, and everyone is corrupt at least sometimes. But not everyone is corrupt all the time and women are not better than men, although they do control men. Its more a question of subservience. Is the server or the served the greater? I mean honestly, if you think about it, jesus says throw yourself in the mud and then his dad will love you. But I don't really know jesus' dad and I've never been in his house, so I don't know if its a pigsty in there. If it is he just wants us to conform.
But seriously, why are people in America so intent on becoming rich and being wealthy if America is predominantly Christian. I mean the guy pretty much spells it out. Give of yourself and you shall be holy. Not. Take as much as possible and live in comfort, but give some time once a week and you're a selfless saint. So why why why? Stupid media.
They suggest a lot, but they are not the arbiter of truth. He's just a muckraker of the olden olden folks. Its like any time in history. Stuff is complicated and people are not always as they seem, and everyone is corrupt at least sometimes. But not everyone is corrupt all the time and women are not better than men, although they do control men. Its more a question of subservience. Is the server or the served the greater? I mean honestly, if you think about it, jesus says throw yourself in the mud and then his dad will love you. But I don't really know jesus' dad and I've never been in his house, so I don't know if its a pigsty in there. If it is he just wants us to conform.
But seriously, why are people in America so intent on becoming rich and being wealthy if America is predominantly Christian. I mean the guy pretty much spells it out. Give of yourself and you shall be holy. Not. Take as much as possible and live in comfort, but give some time once a week and you're a selfless saint. So why why why? Stupid media.
English essays.
Even when I do not bs an english essay, I bs an english essay. I legitimately read wuthering heights, and I definitely read Perfume, and I can compare them and create a unified so what and a few topic sentences. But after that, its all bs. Why do we have to say so much? Its just a waste of time. Most things I write for english are just words on paper that mean nothing to me, and mean nothing to the teacher. More importantly, never will anyone analyze literature in a formal way outside of acadamia. I mean honestly, who would ever pay you to do that? No one. Besides the school systems and "higher education". Its just so much blathering on about this and that, and quotes and fu-reaking Heathcliff! He's obviously a sociopath. We're all on the same page? Good. Put the book down and lets do something worthwhile...
And another thing, what makes Wuthering Heights literature? It's just Twilight thats old, has bigger words, and doesn't have a happy ending for the original lovers. What is literature? What is higher education, other than the kind that doesn't matter? Why do we pay to read bad books anyway? It makes me want to throw myself down a well. Thats dry, preferably, or if not, with weights tied around my neck.
And another thing, what makes Wuthering Heights literature? It's just Twilight thats old, has bigger words, and doesn't have a happy ending for the original lovers. What is literature? What is higher education, other than the kind that doesn't matter? Why do we pay to read bad books anyway? It makes me want to throw myself down a well. Thats dry, preferably, or if not, with weights tied around my neck.
Friends
This weekend I compared two of my friends, and found one of them more emotionally based and the other rather...well. Logical I suppose, but more not emotionally based than logically based. I found that the one had a knack of telling how people feel, and being willing to accommodate his friends because he understands how they feel. His empathy is outstanding, albeit sometimes inaccurate as to motivation, always right on with guessing how they will react to certain things. The other not so much, although he is good at ascertaining how people think, he cannot predict how they will feel. I couldn't tell you which is more useful. It's not my place. I'm just observing.
I find it ironic that the one who is more emotionally stable is the one who is not well connected to emotion. I mean, if you're not connected how can you be in control? I guess one obvious solution is that if their is no connection there is no need for control, because what little is connected is ineffective. Another is that if there is only a little connected, there is only a little control that is necessary. In any case, although this person is more controlled on a daily basis, they tend to have less control or awareness about how to keep their friends well and good satisfied with them.
The other who is well connected lives in a topsy turvy emotional playground, with elephants constantly trampling their favorite set of monkey bars and butterflies constantly building them new favorites. However, in his relations with people he is always aware and in control, and willing to make sacrifices that might hurt him, in order to keep everyone else stable.
So of course one is a better friend than the other. But if you believe that statement, which one? The one that lets you be your own self(relatively unconnected islands), or is empathetic and aware of how you feel(hugging islands)? Maybe you see worth in both positions.
But this leads me into a sort of a conundrum. If you have a friend that is not aware of your emotions and how to treat them, how do you teach them to? If you get mad at them and show them your anger in order to teach them, you might lose a friend, and besides, is a true friend not forgiving of mistakes? Should you become angry to show them, or live with their mistake and forgive them, letting the cycle go on?
Anger seems more of a solution, but if you take that route to help your friend then what sort of friend or you? Why is the high road always less satisfying?
I find it ironic that the one who is more emotionally stable is the one who is not well connected to emotion. I mean, if you're not connected how can you be in control? I guess one obvious solution is that if their is no connection there is no need for control, because what little is connected is ineffective. Another is that if there is only a little connected, there is only a little control that is necessary. In any case, although this person is more controlled on a daily basis, they tend to have less control or awareness about how to keep their friends well and good satisfied with them.
The other who is well connected lives in a topsy turvy emotional playground, with elephants constantly trampling their favorite set of monkey bars and butterflies constantly building them new favorites. However, in his relations with people he is always aware and in control, and willing to make sacrifices that might hurt him, in order to keep everyone else stable.
So of course one is a better friend than the other. But if you believe that statement, which one? The one that lets you be your own self(relatively unconnected islands), or is empathetic and aware of how you feel(hugging islands)? Maybe you see worth in both positions.
But this leads me into a sort of a conundrum. If you have a friend that is not aware of your emotions and how to treat them, how do you teach them to? If you get mad at them and show them your anger in order to teach them, you might lose a friend, and besides, is a true friend not forgiving of mistakes? Should you become angry to show them, or live with their mistake and forgive them, letting the cycle go on?
Anger seems more of a solution, but if you take that route to help your friend then what sort of friend or you? Why is the high road always less satisfying?
Vanity
Humans are an incredibly vain set of individuals. Not because they get all prettied up and prance around in concrete jungles, but because of religion at large. Humans think that their God or Gods are shaped in their image...although technically in my experience they say humans were made in the shape of God, but really humanity created religion, so we shaped them like us. I'm not saying that there isn't a greater power. I would say there is one, but I don't think any particular religion has it right. They're just find pieces of the whole.
But I digress.
Humanity made religion, and humanity shaped their greater power to look like them. Why does god need to look like us? It really does not make any sense. If they are a god, then they are not us. Humans are not gods, even if we control the fate of our entire species with the touch of a button. So why? Because humanity is vain. It seems rather disgraceful. I do not think that the greater power looks like us, maybe it does not even look like anything. If it is too much for our minds to completely comprehend, then how can we assume that we can see it at all? I think that we should not worry about what it looks like, but more about what it feels like.
But I digress.
Humanity made religion, and humanity shaped their greater power to look like them. Why does god need to look like us? It really does not make any sense. If they are a god, then they are not us. Humans are not gods, even if we control the fate of our entire species with the touch of a button. So why? Because humanity is vain. It seems rather disgraceful. I do not think that the greater power looks like us, maybe it does not even look like anything. If it is too much for our minds to completely comprehend, then how can we assume that we can see it at all? I think that we should not worry about what it looks like, but more about what it feels like.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
People
The people to trust are the ones who hate you, they'll do exactly as you expect
The people to fear are the ones who have no doubts, they can't see themselves
The people to need are the ones who owe you nothing, they'll be the most honest
The people to want are the ones you love, for obvious reasons
The people to be wary of are the ones who are fragile, you might break them
The people who need you are the people you owe nothing, they don't expect you, and that makes all the difference
The people who make changes are the one's who don't shout, for they are the one's best heard
The people who make you are the people who you make, they see themselves in you, and you see you in them
The people who eat the most have the most to fear, they're contentment won't save them when we're all running from a bear
The people who say the least are the one's to listen for, they are the people who hear the most
The happiest people know what they have, not what they want
The people who know you are the people you treat the worst, they can see your faults
The people who love you are the people who know you, but forgive you
The people to fear are the ones who have no doubts, they can't see themselves
The people to need are the ones who owe you nothing, they'll be the most honest
The people to want are the ones you love, for obvious reasons
The people to be wary of are the ones who are fragile, you might break them
The people who need you are the people you owe nothing, they don't expect you, and that makes all the difference
The people who make changes are the one's who don't shout, for they are the one's best heard
The people who make you are the people who you make, they see themselves in you, and you see you in them
The people who eat the most have the most to fear, they're contentment won't save them when we're all running from a bear
The people who say the least are the one's to listen for, they are the people who hear the most
The happiest people know what they have, not what they want
The people who know you are the people you treat the worst, they can see your faults
The people who love you are the people who know you, but forgive you
Drugs and Alcohol
Why are drugs illegal? I mean honestly, if you're going to make one of them legal, you might as well make all of them legal.
Alcohol does worse things to your brain than pot does, if you like to think long term, and you can overdose on alcohol and die from it directly, while you cannot die directly from overdosing on marijuana.
On top of that, making a drug illegal only creates violence. If you take away the main source of income for organized crime, you dispense with organized crime. Just look at the prohibition. Make alcohol profitable to smuggle, and you feed organized crime millions and millions of dollars. Violence goes up and you get violence so obvious it mocks the law you put in place.
So really, marijuana should be legalized. Along with cocaine and heroin and every other drug.
Moreover, if those drugs were legalized the government could keep track of who was using them, and try to give them help. Even if they could not help them, they would get revenue from what taxes they could put on those drugs.
So really, drugs should be legalized. I'll never do drugs because it doesn't make sense to, but I will always advocate their legalization because it does make sense.
The question that comes to mind, as with every time I think about government is:
Why does it not make any sense?
Alcohol does worse things to your brain than pot does, if you like to think long term, and you can overdose on alcohol and die from it directly, while you cannot die directly from overdosing on marijuana.
On top of that, making a drug illegal only creates violence. If you take away the main source of income for organized crime, you dispense with organized crime. Just look at the prohibition. Make alcohol profitable to smuggle, and you feed organized crime millions and millions of dollars. Violence goes up and you get violence so obvious it mocks the law you put in place.
So really, marijuana should be legalized. Along with cocaine and heroin and every other drug.
Moreover, if those drugs were legalized the government could keep track of who was using them, and try to give them help. Even if they could not help them, they would get revenue from what taxes they could put on those drugs.
So really, drugs should be legalized. I'll never do drugs because it doesn't make sense to, but I will always advocate their legalization because it does make sense.
The question that comes to mind, as with every time I think about government is:
Why does it not make any sense?
Jesus Christ
He was awfully arrogant, would you not say?
I mean, if someone went waltzing around town these days claiming to be the son of a god I don't think they would last long. Sure, he had a few lessons, some stories. But I mean. I cannot really blame the pharisees. Some young runt strutting around claiming to be the son of your god? You would think they would react in such a way. I think it's a great accomplishment on their part that he lasted as long as he did. That's a whole lot of patience going on.
He was not that patient. I mean seriously. He died so young!
I do not know about you, but I find it extremely difficult to remain kind and pleasant if I'm not modest. Somehow it gets in my head that I'm better than someone else, and then I look down on them, consciously or not, and if I look down on someone then I'm not treating them the way I would like to be treated. And personally I do not want to be treated like a peon.
So not only did the disciples have loads of conviction, they were also incredibly submissive.
I mean, they fought over who would be his favorite wingman. Thats a bit obsessive.
We learned in Wuthering Heights that obsessive people are not exactly stable. So whats to say they did dig up his grave to see him and think he was reborn because they were crazy enough to see ghosts? I don't know.
All I can say is, he might have been a wise man, but he certainly was not a perfect man.
Mais, Je ne sais pas.
I mean, if someone went waltzing around town these days claiming to be the son of a god I don't think they would last long. Sure, he had a few lessons, some stories. But I mean. I cannot really blame the pharisees. Some young runt strutting around claiming to be the son of your god? You would think they would react in such a way. I think it's a great accomplishment on their part that he lasted as long as he did. That's a whole lot of patience going on.
He was not that patient. I mean seriously. He died so young!
I do not know about you, but I find it extremely difficult to remain kind and pleasant if I'm not modest. Somehow it gets in my head that I'm better than someone else, and then I look down on them, consciously or not, and if I look down on someone then I'm not treating them the way I would like to be treated. And personally I do not want to be treated like a peon.
So not only did the disciples have loads of conviction, they were also incredibly submissive.
I mean, they fought over who would be his favorite wingman. Thats a bit obsessive.
We learned in Wuthering Heights that obsessive people are not exactly stable. So whats to say they did dig up his grave to see him and think he was reborn because they were crazy enough to see ghosts? I don't know.
All I can say is, he might have been a wise man, but he certainly was not a perfect man.
Mais, Je ne sais pas.
I'm thinking of what Sarah said
Love is watching someone die
So who's gonna watch you die?
A question that really brings things into perspective, I think. In the end, it will not matter all that much how much money you gained or how you did on your IB exam or whether you failed or passed midterms. When you die, there won't be any pressure. You'll probably just be regretting something or another. I'm really not sure that anyone can face death satisfied and alone.
The question is perhaps not whether you'll regret anything, because you probably will. I think it's more important to ask whether you'll have someone there to tell you you did your best, and it's done the people around you right. Maybe you'll break a few promises. Maybe you'll wish you had not exploded at a close friend and lost them forever. Maybe you'll wish you'd not broken so many things in IB Biology labs. But if you can look at that person and see them smiling you into your death, you might just see that no matter what you did wrong you did some things right.
So perhaps it will not matter where you worked, what you did, who you did and how often. Maybe it is more important to be asking yourself who will be watching you die. And what you'll have done to deserve who that is and how they send you off.
So who's gonna watch you die?
So who's gonna watch you die?
A question that really brings things into perspective, I think. In the end, it will not matter all that much how much money you gained or how you did on your IB exam or whether you failed or passed midterms. When you die, there won't be any pressure. You'll probably just be regretting something or another. I'm really not sure that anyone can face death satisfied and alone.
The question is perhaps not whether you'll regret anything, because you probably will. I think it's more important to ask whether you'll have someone there to tell you you did your best, and it's done the people around you right. Maybe you'll break a few promises. Maybe you'll wish you had not exploded at a close friend and lost them forever. Maybe you'll wish you'd not broken so many things in IB Biology labs. But if you can look at that person and see them smiling you into your death, you might just see that no matter what you did wrong you did some things right.
So perhaps it will not matter where you worked, what you did, who you did and how often. Maybe it is more important to be asking yourself who will be watching you die. And what you'll have done to deserve who that is and how they send you off.
So who's gonna watch you die?
Kittens
When I see a baby kitten, I'm instantly in love. They're just so cute. If they never grew up, they would be the dominant species on the planet. I mean, nothing could hurt them. They would be invincible.
On the note of dominant species, I find it interesting to note that our bodies are the strangest of all animal bodies. We are not particularly large or adaptable to many climates. We do not have many threatening features, and we aren't particularly capable of running away from many large predators. If not for our brains we would not be so dominant. Obviously.
I think it's a real shame. If not for our brains, we would want for nothing. We would only survive. But as we want we destroy. We do not give back to our planet and we do not seem capable of it. Of all the things on earth, humans and what they create are the most alien. We do not fit in and we should not be here. But we are, so it is our responsibility to care for the mother we're killing and try to nurse her back to health. If we don't, not only will we kill everything that gives us life, but ourselves as well. And which is more tragic?
On the note of dominant species, I find it interesting to note that our bodies are the strangest of all animal bodies. We are not particularly large or adaptable to many climates. We do not have many threatening features, and we aren't particularly capable of running away from many large predators. If not for our brains we would not be so dominant. Obviously.
I think it's a real shame. If not for our brains, we would want for nothing. We would only survive. But as we want we destroy. We do not give back to our planet and we do not seem capable of it. Of all the things on earth, humans and what they create are the most alien. We do not fit in and we should not be here. But we are, so it is our responsibility to care for the mother we're killing and try to nurse her back to health. If we don't, not only will we kill everything that gives us life, but ourselves as well. And which is more tragic?
Freedom
In a lot of prevalent media its generally portrayed that people are in a default way not free. It is portrayed that if you don't fight for your freedom you do not have any freedom. It even goes as far as to suggest that if you live in a socially acceptable way that you are not free at all.
I would say otherwise. I think that humanity is basely free. No matter what the situation is, there are always choice to be made. No matter whether you choose to do like your parents tell you or not, you've still made a choice. Making a choice to submit is still a choice, and an active one. You can always change your mind and react differently. The idea that freedom is something that requires violence is simply absurd. Freedom requires nothing. It simply is. Even in slavery, there is the choice not to work, there is the choice to rebel. Perhaps the consequences hurt. But there are always consequences. Freedom is the ability to face them, and we all have that. If you're threatened at gunpoint, you still have a choice. Its just that most people tend to want to live.
In conclusion, I maintain that humanity is free by default, and no matter the situation everyone always has the freedom to choose as they wish.
I would say otherwise. I think that humanity is basely free. No matter what the situation is, there are always choice to be made. No matter whether you choose to do like your parents tell you or not, you've still made a choice. Making a choice to submit is still a choice, and an active one. You can always change your mind and react differently. The idea that freedom is something that requires violence is simply absurd. Freedom requires nothing. It simply is. Even in slavery, there is the choice not to work, there is the choice to rebel. Perhaps the consequences hurt. But there are always consequences. Freedom is the ability to face them, and we all have that. If you're threatened at gunpoint, you still have a choice. Its just that most people tend to want to live.
In conclusion, I maintain that humanity is free by default, and no matter the situation everyone always has the freedom to choose as they wish.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
The Tao of Pooh 3
The last two posts have made it apparent that the Tao of Pooh has stolen me in a way. Its only been two days and here I am convinced that this is just the solution to everything. So just like my old self, I set about figuring out why.
It wasn't a long thought process.
I've been studying more than anything existential works lately, as I thought I wanted to do my extended essay on it for a long time. As I've done research I've come to understand that existentialism is about the questions. The existentialists do not share any answers, only questions. And in general, they come to rather dreary conclusions. The Falls relates the story of a fallen man. (no way.) Perfume tells the story of a murdered who finds he has no purpose. They dilly dally and shilly shally all around and question purpose this and purpose that, and finally decide that there is no universal purpose. Its all about you, and now. And then they proceed to live somewhere other than their own. They choose to be sad and dreary and depressing and dark, and they are. They end on questions and fill in no space in my soul.
To be given an answer without hoopla on all sides has been incredibly refreshing. It's something different and new and incredibly, at least from what perspective of philosophy I had gained, happy. It was about being happy now, not later, and not about whats gone wrong and how its all my fault. It is. But so can being happy. If my purpose is my own, then I would choose to make it happiness, and Taoism hands me that answer.
Moreover, Taoism is different than most other methodologies for living because it defines happiness not in things as most do-as with the greeks on food, money, fame, and power-but simply on being pleased with being. And as far as I can see, being pleased with being makes more sense than being frustrated with it. So I would welcome the Way immediately of course, and accepting that patience is necessary, set about sitting still.
It wasn't a long thought process.
I've been studying more than anything existential works lately, as I thought I wanted to do my extended essay on it for a long time. As I've done research I've come to understand that existentialism is about the questions. The existentialists do not share any answers, only questions. And in general, they come to rather dreary conclusions. The Falls relates the story of a fallen man. (no way.) Perfume tells the story of a murdered who finds he has no purpose. They dilly dally and shilly shally all around and question purpose this and purpose that, and finally decide that there is no universal purpose. Its all about you, and now. And then they proceed to live somewhere other than their own. They choose to be sad and dreary and depressing and dark, and they are. They end on questions and fill in no space in my soul.
To be given an answer without hoopla on all sides has been incredibly refreshing. It's something different and new and incredibly, at least from what perspective of philosophy I had gained, happy. It was about being happy now, not later, and not about whats gone wrong and how its all my fault. It is. But so can being happy. If my purpose is my own, then I would choose to make it happiness, and Taoism hands me that answer.
Moreover, Taoism is different than most other methodologies for living because it defines happiness not in things as most do-as with the greeks on food, money, fame, and power-but simply on being pleased with being. And as far as I can see, being pleased with being makes more sense than being frustrated with it. So I would welcome the Way immediately of course, and accepting that patience is necessary, set about sitting still.
The Tao of Pooh 2
(For verification, thoughts happen before journals. Thanks for tuning in.)
But therein lies the problem. I cannot try to simply be. It's all altogether different function. To try is to meddle, while to be is to let be, and Taoism is all about not meddling. So how do I be? By being of course. Easier said than done. So I have to let myself see the way, and then do the way, and then be the way...but how to I let myself to see without looking?
I'm no expert on the subject, but in math today I think I may have experienced something similar. We were talking about Pascal's Triangle....well really we were talking about polynomials at the point where it happen. For some reason it was in math where it was the easiest for me to let things happen. To let my mind see before I saw. This was first with the exponents and their sums for each term in the sequence. I simply stopped looking for patterns, and saw. Later on that day, again with math, I let myself multiply and add and exponentiate in my head, instead of telling my mind to race for the solutions. I was finished with the homework much sooner than I should have been.
By skipping the step where I told myself to try and told myself to go quickly, my mind was not cluttered or confused by excess noise. I hummed and hawwed and smiled the whole while, letting myself simply do, and then I was done. And not only had I done much better, but I felt much better as well.
I feel that in those instances I was letting myself simply be. And when I did that everything else fell into place. Now I simply need to find my cottleston pie and let the Tiddely-Pom Principle take me to myself.
But therein lies the problem. I cannot try to simply be. It's all altogether different function. To try is to meddle, while to be is to let be, and Taoism is all about not meddling. So how do I be? By being of course. Easier said than done. So I have to let myself see the way, and then do the way, and then be the way...but how to I let myself to see without looking?
I'm no expert on the subject, but in math today I think I may have experienced something similar. We were talking about Pascal's Triangle....well really we were talking about polynomials at the point where it happen. For some reason it was in math where it was the easiest for me to let things happen. To let my mind see before I saw. This was first with the exponents and their sums for each term in the sequence. I simply stopped looking for patterns, and saw. Later on that day, again with math, I let myself multiply and add and exponentiate in my head, instead of telling my mind to race for the solutions. I was finished with the homework much sooner than I should have been.
By skipping the step where I told myself to try and told myself to go quickly, my mind was not cluttered or confused by excess noise. I hummed and hawwed and smiled the whole while, letting myself simply do, and then I was done. And not only had I done much better, but I felt much better as well.
I feel that in those instances I was letting myself simply be. And when I did that everything else fell into place. Now I simply need to find my cottleston pie and let the Tiddely-Pom Principle take me to myself.
The Tao of Pooh
I finished reading the Tao of Pooh for the second time in two days about thirty minutes ago. The first time I read it, I finished with a greater sense of purpose than the second, but the second time I finished I closed the book understanding that I had taken more from it.
The first time, I finished with a firm resolve to become more like a Taoist: to enjoy life for what it was. After all, we're all searching for happiness in life. Perhaps the happiness is the searching, not the arriving. If we can make the choice to be happy with what we have, why don't we?
With this resolve I let my head run away and careen off on soliloquys about what I would do as a Taoist. I pranced down my fancy trails of this and that and China and communism and creeks and maple syrup and books. Lots and lots of books with lots and lots of words. And maybe writing some of my own.
Of course, partway through the day it and mostly sometime after school (when my diversions had left me hanging in the wind) I found myself rather bitterly contemplating waiting for it. I had an inkling that perhaps I was doing something wrong. No, I knew I was doing something wrong. I went back to read again perhaps find the inner peace acquired on the first read again, so that I could see clearly (now that the rain has gone)
And now, upon reading it the second time I plainly see that my fault was in wanting the Great Reward, and not enjoying all the rewards I was living with. I see now that there is no path or linear line to trek down, but only a cycle to be in. I see that the Wu Wei is about now, not later. So I will try again.
The first time, I finished with a firm resolve to become more like a Taoist: to enjoy life for what it was. After all, we're all searching for happiness in life. Perhaps the happiness is the searching, not the arriving. If we can make the choice to be happy with what we have, why don't we?
With this resolve I let my head run away and careen off on soliloquys about what I would do as a Taoist. I pranced down my fancy trails of this and that and China and communism and creeks and maple syrup and books. Lots and lots of books with lots and lots of words. And maybe writing some of my own.
Of course, partway through the day it and mostly sometime after school (when my diversions had left me hanging in the wind) I found myself rather bitterly contemplating waiting for it. I had an inkling that perhaps I was doing something wrong. No, I knew I was doing something wrong. I went back to read again perhaps find the inner peace acquired on the first read again, so that I could see clearly (now that the rain has gone)
And now, upon reading it the second time I plainly see that my fault was in wanting the Great Reward, and not enjoying all the rewards I was living with. I see now that there is no path or linear line to trek down, but only a cycle to be in. I see that the Wu Wei is about now, not later. So I will try again.
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