Friends

This weekend I compared two of my friends, and found one of them more emotionally based and the other rather...well. Logical I suppose, but more not emotionally based than logically based. I found that the one had a knack of telling how people feel, and being willing to accommodate his friends because he understands how they feel. His empathy is outstanding, albeit sometimes inaccurate as to motivation, always right on with guessing how they will react to certain things. The other not so much, although he is good at ascertaining how people think, he cannot predict how they will feel. I couldn't tell you which is more useful. It's not my place. I'm just observing.

I find it ironic that the one who is more emotionally stable is the one who is not well connected to emotion. I mean, if you're not connected how can you be in control? I guess one obvious solution is that if their is no connection there is no need for control, because what little is connected is ineffective. Another is that if there is only a little connected, there is only a little control that is necessary. In any case, although this person is more controlled on a daily basis, they tend to have less control or awareness about how to keep their friends well and good satisfied with them.

The other who is well connected lives in a topsy turvy emotional playground, with elephants constantly trampling their favorite set of monkey bars and butterflies constantly building them new favorites. However, in his relations with people he is always aware and in control, and willing to make sacrifices that might hurt him, in order to keep everyone else stable.

So of course one is a better friend than the other. But if you believe that statement, which one? The one that lets you be your own self(relatively unconnected islands), or is empathetic and aware of how you feel(hugging islands)? Maybe you see worth in both positions.

But this leads me into a sort of a conundrum. If you have a friend that is not aware of your emotions and how to treat them, how do you teach them to? If you get mad at them and show them your anger in order to teach them, you might lose a friend, and besides, is a true friend not forgiving of mistakes? Should you become angry to show them, or live with their mistake and forgive them, letting the cycle go on?

Anger seems more of a solution, but if you take that route to help your friend then what sort of friend or you? Why is the high road always less satisfying?