DJ4

Dear Journal, 10/28
I realize that for the past few entries I have been judging others and their actions. I have been noticing the duplicity in their lives, and finding that they are inherently hypocritical and do things only for themselves in one way or another. I wonder why I do this, why do I judge others and not myself? I judge them because in judging them I feel that somehow recognizing their faults makes mine disappear. I do not give at all to people in poverty, and I might make the excuse that I cannot at my age, but deep down I know there are ways. I find that in calling them hypocrites I feel less like one, when in reality it makes me more like one. I judge them and yet I fear judgment myself. I fear that my hypocrisies might be revealed and that I might be worse a person than I am when revealed as when hidden. I judge to cover my own faults, to avoid judgment myself. If I point fingers then maybe none will be pointed at me. In truth, we are all hypocrites, and there is nothing anyone can do to avoid it. At least, this is my perception, as I am so totally inept to overcome my hypocrisy that I cannot fathom that anyone could be capable. In all this I have come to the conclusion that all humanity is inherently hypocritical, due to the duplicity seen in all human actions.